Do you love sexy and sensual pole dance?

Want to explore your exotic side but don’t know what type of sexy you want to be?

Are you struggling to find your pole alter-ego?

When we pole dance we never just dance as ourselves. The person who runs errands, does chores and goes about daily life is often not the same one who performs on stage. For some people this stage persona is easy for them to discover, it develops naturally as a exaggerated version of their own personality. But, if you have never had to ‘perform’ before, whether for yourself or an audience, then you may never have explored what type of sexy you want to project and embody.

There are many types of sexy, and just like body types, they are varied, unique and particular to each person. You may be a sassy queen, maybe you are fun and flirty, coy and shy, brash and daring, or perhaps people aren’t sure whether ‘you want to f*ck them, or just f*ck them up’ (a line I used in my recent Pole Theatre UK routine, and should probably trade mark or something because I love it). There are all types of sexy, and finding out which one you are can have an important impact on your pole dancing; your costumes, music choices, what moves you include, and so on. Part of ‘your sexy’ will develop naturally from your own personality, but pin-pointing exactly what you want to convey can be tricky if you’re not sure where to begin.

So, without further ado, in the words of Li Shang in Mulan, ‘Let’s get down to business’…


If you can identify who inspires you, and what it is about their persona that you identify with, you can begin to craft a stage identity that taps into the traits you appreciate. This could be someone you know, it could be a public figure, celebrity or artist. You could even refer to fictional characters from books and TV shows.

If you are a huge fan of Diana Ross, why not emulate her sophistication and diva reputation? Maybe you love Debbie Harry and her punk ‘I don’t care’ vibe. Does Marilyn Monroe’s flirtatious and ditzy persona speak to you? Perhaps you always admired the rebelliousness demonstrated by artists such as Tracey Emin or Frida Kahlo. You could be the pole version of strong, outspoken women such as Nicki Minaj or Beyonce. I personally love the wild child, cocky personality of Faith from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, so I love to channel a similar attitude on stage.

What female writers do you enjoy? Which singers, musicians, and dancers? What is it that attracts you to them? Ask yourselves these questions and you will begin to build a picture of the attributes and quirks that you find entertaining and enlightening. Write these down, find which match with natural aspects of your own personality, and you can develop an alter-ego that is at once a part of who you already are, but also who you aspire to be like.


Once you have identified the kind of people who inspire you, and what traits and quirks you wish to emulate and exaggerate, this second step is super easy.

Simply ask yourself the following question: What do you want the audience to feel when you are performing for them?

Do you want to be scary sexy? Do you want to be ethereal and leave them wondering if you are even human? Do you want to enthral the audience with your charm? Identifying the goal you wish to achieve as a performer will shape your on-stage personality. If you want the audience to be simultaneously aroused and worried you might punch them, then concentrate on the traits that help you achieve that such as a ‘don’t care’ attitude, or an aggressive self-confidence. If you want to enthral the audience try exaggerating the flirtatious or kittenish aspects of your personality. And so on.

Your ‘goal’ does not need to be the same in every performance, so you can channel your sexy ‘traits’ in different ways depending on what is best for the routine and the character or aspect of your personality you are exploring in that piece.

Here are some great examples of performance personalities that really have a goal in mind…

I am ridiculously in love with this performance from Natty. She wants the audience to have as much fun as she is having. Her cheeky and campy personality smacks you in the face, and you cannot help but enjoy yourself watching her.

This performance by Kitty Marie LaVeaux is text book scary sexy.


What music video chicks did you just loooove watching when you were a teenager? Were you fascinated by the 80s metal babes in the Guns N’ Roses or White Snake videos? Perhaps you adored watching the booty popping ladies in 90s and 00s hip hop videos? Or, perhaps you didn’t enjoy watching any of them, and preferred the women you found in fantasy novels, TV shows such as Xena: Warrior Princess, or cheesy horror films.

Regardless, the point I’m making is, as with those individuals who inspire you, think about the visual media that you are drawn to. If you love rock n’ roll, vampires, and gothic fashion, it will be easy for you to pull from those sources and create a type of dark, bad ass femme fatale that you are comfortable with. If you prefer rose tinted images of playboy bunnies and blonde bombshells, use that aesthetic to inspire you and create a seductive siren.

A great way to pool your inspiration is by creating visual ‘mood boards’. This can be done the old fashioned way, cutting out images from magazines, or printing images off, and making them into collages. Or, you can make an account on websites such as Pinterest or Tumblr, which allow you to create ‘boards’ and blogs to share and save visual media that inspires you.

Once again, you don’t need to stick to one single aesthetic, your aesthetic can change between different performances, but you’ll usually find some common threads running through by virtue of your personality and interests. For example, you may err towards a retro glam 70s aesthetic in one performance, and channel a 1950s pin up look in another, but in both you may communicate the sassy and flirty aspects of your alter-ego, which will tie them together.

And don’t just stick to women – David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Prince… All amazing individuals with a strong aesthetic legacy. Be hungry for inspiration; consume as much visual media as you can and it will feed your creativity as well as helping you develop your sexy pole personality.


I hope these tips help you out in your journey, as you discover and develop your unique sexy pole personality. I would emphasise, when looking for inspiration, you are not looking to be someone you are not. What you want to always aspire towards is a persona that, whilst exaggerated, is authentic and based on all the great traits you already have inside of you. If you try and embody a personality that is very far removed from your own, you probably won’t feel very comfortable and it won’t look as effortless and engaging to the audience. Being a larger than life version of yourself is always best, because we just want to see more of YOU!

Stay true to who you are, and you will find your sexy.

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